Beer Me: October 27, 2015 – November 2, 2015

Halloween falls on a Saturday this year, which is sooooooo much less awkward than when it falls midweek. In those years, the rules of dressing up are unclear. Do it the weekend before and risk being the only asshole in a costume. Do it the weekend after and people are like, “Really? You’re still dressing up?” Unless, of course, you don’t like the whole costume thing, in which case, you’re screwed. Stay home this weekend.

If you’re still in search of some last-minute booze-related Halloween ideas, here are some of the best worst ones out there, along with some additional suggestions:

• Four Loko costume. From the site (grammatical errors are theirs not mine): People will be prohibited to touch you in some states, but they will all want a taste, even if you look dangerous. This is the official Four Loko costume for women will bring the sexy out in you. A one piece, tank top dress made of cotton/spandex to give a comfy, tight fit to show off the crazy body [ed note: Did Pitbull write this description?]. This green dress is watermelon flavored. In conclusion, don’t wear this dress in states where touching isn’t prohibited or around people in such a state that they think touching a stranger in a tight dress is a good idea. Actually, just don’t wear this.
• Adult Get Real Beer Pint Costume. From the site: It’s been a long day, let’s get you a beer—costume, of course. If you’re looking for a refreshing costume idea, our Get Real Beer Pint Costume will quench your creative thirst. The tunic forms into a polyfoam glass of lager. Wear it to your Halloween party, and don’t worry, you won’t need your ID to enjoy this beverage! “Hey ladies, no ID necessary to drink this beer! And, yes, this is a tunic. It’s ‘creative’. Wait! Come back.”
• Beer Bottle Pullover Sweatshirt Costume. Really, dude? This is a sweatshirt with a trash can stuffed into the hood. That “dual entry front pocket” though…
• Beer Rambo. If we all packed beer instead of bullets the world would be a safer, drunker place. Maybe some fighting, but of the hilarious, MMA-reject, swing and miss ilk.
• Stick a beer can on your head. “Hey, look at me. I’m crazy beer can head guy! Give me some candy!”

Now, on to the events!

Tuesday, October 27, 2015 @ 6pm: Pumpkin Carving at Ratio Beerworks

BYOP (Bring Your Own Pumpkin), but Ratio will supply the tools for carving and trash bins for the innards. Leave your creation behind for fan voting throughout the week, with the winner receiving a $25 gift certificate and hat or t-shirt of their choice. No entry fee.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015 @ 6pm: Pie and Beer Pairing at Black Shirt Brewing Co.

What doesn’t beer pair well with? Sample four sweet and savory pies from The Long I Pie Shop alongside selected brews from BSB. $20 per person; no advance tickets needed. Peep the full menu here.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015 @ 6pm: Halloween Party at Boggy Draw Brewery

Celebrate Halloween a few days early by taking the bull by the horns at Boggy Draw. The “bull” in this case being their latest barrel-aged beer dubbed the Bourbon Cowboy. It’s a cream ale aged in bourbon barrels from Vapor Distillery. A food truck and costume contest will add to the fun. No entry fee.

Thursday, October 29, 2015 @ 12 – 10pm: Grand Opening of Little Machine Beer

A new spot to pre-game before the Broncos is taking the field! Little Machine Beer will throw open its doors (on the corner of 20th & Federal) for the first time this Thursday. They’ll have five beers on tap and El Toro the Tot will be serving food from 4 – 9pm. Come help welcome this new brewery baby to the neighborhood! No entry fee.

Friday, October 30, 2015 @ 3pm: Trick Beer or Treat Beer and Tarot Readings at Factotum Brewhouse

With every pint purchased, you’;; have the opportunity to win a free beer (treat), a regular priced beer, or trick beer ($1 extra with the proceeds going to charity). Thuy Dam will also be on-hand giving $2 tarot readings. Costumed dog and kids will receive goodie bags. No entry fee.

Saturday, October 31, 2015 @ 12 – 7pm: The Tennyson Street Rumpus at Call to Arms Brewing Company

This newish Berkeley tenant is throwing a neighborhood gathering, featuring rumpus-inspired beers, a pig roast + sides by Mas Kaos, the Sweet Cow Ice Cream Moo Mobile, and games for all ages. No entry fee.

Saturday, October 31, 2015 @ 1 – 6pm: Halloween Craft Brew Ball at Wonderland Brewing Co.

Head north to Broomfield to sample beers from 13 Colorado breweries at this Lewis Carroll-inspired brewery. This family-friendly event will feature a costume contest, trick or treating, face painting, pumpkin bowling, live music, and local food vendors. Proceeds benefit The Arc of Adams County. Basic entry starts at $5, with additional ticket options. Minors are free but should RSVP using the same link.

Other beer-inspired Halloween events on Saturday, October 31, 2015:

Halloween Party and Costume Contest at Joyride Brewing Company

Halloween Party at Zephyr Brewing Co.

Halloween Party at Alpine Dog Beer Co.

Monster Mash 2.0 at Beryl’s Beer Co.

Party with the OMF Ghost at Our Mutual Friend Brewery

Halloween Party at Ratio Beerworks

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Matt Sandy, a self-proclaimed “Beer Gadabout,” has been enjoying beer since he was of legal drinking age. Having been born across the pond where “legal drinking age” is a relative term, let’s just say he washed down a shandy or two while still in short pants. He moved to Denver in 2007 and immediately took up residency at the Great Divide taproom. Since then, he’s enjoyed exploring all of the craft corners of this great town and in this column will highlight weekly beer-related events that you should consider drinking in.